Spritz the Happy Onion is not a Metroidsanything or an Anythingsvania; it is a simple joyous game about guiding a floaty little dude from left to right as quickly and carefully as you can. It is a game that respects your time and can be played over and over. Steven Spielberg once said, "I think the real indicator [that games have become a storytelling art form] will be when somebody confesses that they cried at level 17." Well your move, Steve! Spritz the Happy Onion is a zesty, delicious throwback to momentum-based platformers of old, complete with run button. Except in this game, you can die as many times as you like. Though dying does lose you an expensive egg, which are important because... A MONSTER HAS APPEARED IN THE SKY TO DEVOUR THE MOON. And only our little layered lancealot possesses a recipe for a cake that might ruin it's appetite. Jump infinitely off of background elements! It's illogical but you get used to it. Don magic hats to give him extra abilities like flight. Tackle eight enormous bosses Take to the land, sea, and... well, land and sea. Make it to the end with five eggs to unlock TEARS MODE! ...But you can fail as much as you like and no one will make you start over from the beginning! I'm Googling it right now, and it seems like the moon is important for a lot of things like tides and satellites and night visibility. It's not just pretty! So it would be very prudent for you to help Spritz on his quest!